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Winter La Mon is a 28-year-old transgender man who lives in New York City.
He joined the online dating site OKCupid six years ago, about three years before he transitioned.
It never ceases to amaze me how those who want honesty from the people they date, and this goes for men and women, aren’t necessarily honest themselves.
They want it from you because they know it makes their life easier, but do they actually offer it to the person they say they care about? Or how about the men who can clearly state that communication is the most important element of a relationship, yet still disappear when times get tough or there’s a little dash of conflict in the relationship?
Intellectually, I suspect most everyone acknowledges that communication is important, but actually believing it with your heart enough to make it a priority is an entirely different story. The one who says he values communication, but doesn’t actually communicate well might be worth investing time in if he is aware of that discrepancy.
Of course, if he is aware of it and doesn’t care, have the strength to move on. Here’s a caveat on the dating frustration about communication.
If there are so many people searching, why are we all still single?
Ryley Pogensky, the genderqueer person who created the petition, said that when he asked OKCupid about adding more gender identity options, a representative told him it would be difficult to change the site because it was built “in a pretty binary way.” La Mon has noticed that his male and female OKCupid profiles get different matches.
Biology aside, I'm learning that more and more people don't even have enough morals to avoid cheating. She joined a dating site and called me into her office to ask me if I thought that was bad.
It's no coincidence that both of my brides-to-be and I have agreed to have "open marriages" where we cheat on each other. I asked her why she joined it, and she said it's because she "has no game." I thought it was a shame that dating has done this to her, because she is a great person.
I admit that I was a terrible dater before getting married.
I made just about every mistake, but what I can offer is some general principles based upon what I observe and what our team observes in working with singles every single day.I frequently see it in my coaching work with teams and business leaders – they want something from everyone else that they don’t realize they aren’t giving from themselves.